Mission on Mimban Seven

[klcthebookworm]

Previous Installments

Introduction, One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight, Nine, Ten, Eleven, Twelve, Outline for Mission on Mimban

What Happens in the Chapter

The reaction to the prison break starts off with Grammel and a hapless sergeant and what they find, everyone dead in the wrecked communications center. Our escapees upon reaching the reception area spend some time dithering on how to deal with the uniformed soldier at the desk and the two well-armed guards beside the exit. Hin and Kee take the decision out of Luke and Leia's hands by moving forward at full speed and full battle cry mode. That effectively gives them the drop on the Imperials, but Kee breaks the entire desk and console on the soldier stationed at it. Unfortunately, that desk had the door controls. Luke finds grenades on one of the stormtrooper's belts and uses one to blow out the door.

Grammel and his troops finally catch up with them after they blew apart the doors. Luke takes the time to set three more canisters and roll them into the inner hallway before running. "Grammel and the mass of troops behind him pulled up short as the canisters came rolling and bouncing innocently toward them. The corridor cleared with inhuman speed." Those three explosions collapse the entire entrance of the temple. They meet up with Halla, Threepio, and Artoo at the maintenance yard. Halla has picked out a bulky, open-air vehicle on bloated, multiple wheels, Artoo ignites the engine, and Halla drives it through the shed door and through the wire fence surrounding the yard. She drives at full speed through the bogs and jungle for a half an hour before Luke and Leia convince her to stop.

Hin, Kee, and Leia break out the rations and then they all talk about survival matters, Halla's impressive stealing, how far away the crystal is, Pomojema, native culture, and Governor Essada. Halla the bad-ass freaks the hell out when she learns that an Imperial governor is involved now, but Luke manages to convince her that they have to get the crystal first and destroy it if necessary to keep it from Imperial hands. The trip is estimated to take "a week to ten days." Luke finds the weapons Halla stashed and passes them out. Then he uses the blaster pistol he carried out of Imperial headquarters to recharge his lightsaber.

What I Liked

Hin and Kee are the breakout stars of this book. They are so committed to leaving and dismembering every Imperial that gets in their way. Another reason I'm glad this story was never filmed since it would have been hard to get all this dismemberment past the censors.

The explosive content of this book has gone up with this chapter.

The blast gave the feeling that lightning had struck just behind them. Green fire flared around the corner, faded instantly to acrid smoke. When they peered around the wall, they saw that both doors and a portion of the building's foundation had vanished.

"They've improved those things," Luke observed professionally.

Cue my giggles that Luke has had an adventure in which he played around with Imperial grenades. Then the three he set off to stop Grammel's pursuit have a cascading effect that is still exploding after they find the maintenance yard.

Halla was looking admiringly at Luke. "What did you do, boy?" A faint explosion sounded by way of footnote to her comment, from the general direction of the temple headquarters. "Sounds like the mine itself's going up."

"I just tried to delay our pursuit a little while," he explained modestly. Another explosion made them all wince reflexively. A pillar of yellow flame lit the night sky, piercing the mist. "I might've overdone it a little."

You don't say, Luke.

Artoo is the one to save them all, because I doubt anyone else in this group has hot-wiring as a skill set.

I do appreciate our travel time actually given in this section. Star Wars likes to gloss over details like how long does this take in order to present the exciting things. I'm not a fan because it leads to misunderstandings like "hyperspace mean instantaneous travel" and "Luke spent a week training on Dagobah." The week to two weeks time frame gives the characters lots of time to interact and gives Essada time to respond.

What I Found Problematic

Argh, the head-hopping! Why the hell is there this much head-hopping in TWO pages? We start with Grammel and that lasts four paragraphs. Then we see what the sergeant does, two paragraphs. After that we are in Luke's POV, and I'm "argh just pick one to go with!"

I think driving through jungle and bogs, even taking evasive turns and swerves, leaves a clear trail that can be followed until new growth covers it up. Sure the ever present fog helps hide them, but the mud mauler has to be leaving a trail. We'll have to see in a later chapter just how hard it is for the Imperials to follow them.

Halla's impressive streak continues in this chapter, which highlights all the problems Foster has had writing Leia. What is up with that?

What Changes in My Fic

This chapter is continuation of the escape and a reaction to it, so I don't see much of it changing. I'm a fan of Hin and Kee dismembering stormtroopers and Halla being a bad-ass.

But we know lightsabers don't need recharging, so I don't have to bother with that.

Plot events time. Helping Writers Become Authors further explains this breakdown.

• Hook 1% mark = Crashing onto Mimban
• Set-up 1% - 12%
• Inciting Event 12% mark = Finding the Imperial mining outpost
• Build-up 12% - 25%
• 1st Plot Point 25% mark = Luke and Leia agree to find the Kaiburr crystal with Halla
• Reaction to 1st Plot Point 25% - 37%
• 1st Pinch Point 37% mark = Meeting with Grammel
• Realization 37% - 50%
• Midpoint or 2nd Plot Point 50% mark = Prison break
• Action 50% - 62%
• 2nd Pinch Point 62% mark
• Renewed Push 62% - 75%