klcthebookworm

Previous Installments

Introduction, One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight, Nine, Ten, Eleven, Twelve, Outline for Mission on Mimban

What Happens in the Chapter

Grammel's informant saw Luke, Leia, and Halla with the stone splinter and Grammel came to the erroneous conclusion that it is loot that Luke has brought to Mimban. To end Luke's stalling, Grammel sics the stormtrooper sergeant on Leia and she shows that she has had some unarmed combat training. Unfortunately she doesn't grabbed the blaster and the door has a lock limiting it to only authorized personnel. When both the sergeant and Grammel are about to beat Leia again, Luke turns over the stone. Grammel leniently decides to consider it their fine for being involved in the fight, explains that they will be detained while their story is investigated, and sends them out to the maximum secure holding pen. The sergeant points out it is already occupied with dangerous prisoners, but Grammel insists they'll be fine. Or rather he hopes they'll survive their cell mates so he can release them when their story checks out.

After Luke and Leia are escorted out, Grammel brings his informant back in. Bot identifies the glowing fragment as what he saw, and is a silent participant in Grammel's conversation to decide to comm Governor Bin Essada. Grammel wanted Essada's expert opinion on the fragment, but Essada is more interested in the pair it came with. He is fairly certain that the woman is Princess Leia Organa, even though he doesn't name her to Grammel. He does promise Grammel a promotion if the Captain-Supervisor keeps the pair alive until "proper authority arrives for them" and he knows just who will "find this information of particular notice." Essada signs off and Grammel has visions of his future.

What I Liked

Continuity win: Essada mentions he is overwhelmed with work since the Emperor dissolved the Senate. You may remember Tarkin having some jollies over that in A New Hope.

Leia's reputation proceeds her by a lot.

"We've heard rumors from Circarpous IV, about an important meeting that the underground leaders there were preparing for... a young woman, you say? Would she be dark-haired, fiery-tempered, perhaps even a touch sarcastic?"
"The very person, sir," a startled Grammel stammered.

These Imperials weren't even present for Leia's insults to Tarkin, so wow, I really want to hear some of her Imperial Senate speeches now.

"It may be her, by the Force, it just may be," Governor Essada muttered, now excited. A believer in the Imperial ranks or just using an entrenched cliché? He better watch where he says that and around who.

Essada's reaction made me laugh.

"Governor!" Grammel lost his poise completely. "Sir, you are too generous. I don't know what to say...."
"Say nothing," Essada suggested. "It makes you more tolerable."

With a boss like this one, do you expect Grammel not to be a petty tyrant?

In not Legends news, Bin Essada and Mimban are in Solo: A Star Wars Story the Official Guide. I have no idea how much they show up in the film since I haven't girded my loins to go see it yet, but I will be helluva disappointed if it isn't a fog-shrouded jungle planet with ancient temples everywhere.

What I Found Problematic

Leia doesn't grab a blaster? Foster, you ghostwrote A New Hope's novelization; what is your excuse for getting this detail wrong?

Bot only listens to Grammel and shakes or nods his head in response. Bot can talk but all the reader gets is "A husk of a sentence from the figure and Grammel nodded." If this Bot is Lobot's first draft, John Hollis added a lot to the character by his presence and didn't hide behind the furniture.

Essada is overweight too. *Sigh* And I'm really not sure what to make of his physical description.

The portrait that appeared on the screen was an overweight, swarthy individual whose most outstanding feature was a series of chins falling in steps to the upper part of his shirt. Curly black hair, touched with white at the sides and dyed orange in a spiral pattern on top, crowned the face like seaweed on some water-worn boulder. Dark eyes squinted perpetually, their pink pupils ever sensitive to light.

His chins are more outstanding than that hair? I checked his Wookieepedia article. He is categorized as Near-Human under Species on account of the eyes, but none of the artists for the comic book adaptation recreated that hairstyle.

What Changes in My Fic

Luke's lightsaber is what gets them booted up the chain of command here. I don't know if it needs to be in what I write. It depends on whether I write from Grammel's POV or not and I haven't decided.

Plot events time. Helping Writers Become Authors further explains this breakdown.

Hook 1% mark = Crashing onto Mimban
Set-up 1% - 12%
Inciting Event 12% mark = Finding the Imperial mining outpost
Build-up 12% - 25%
1st Plot Point 25% mark = Luke and Leia agree to find the Kaiburr crystal with Halla
Reaction to 1st Plot Point 25% - 37%
1st Pinch Point 37% mark = Meeting with Grammel
Realization 37% - 50%
Midpoint or 2nd Plot Point 50% mark
Action 50% - 62%
2nd Pinch Point 62% mark
Renewed Push 62% - 75%